


The Ballad of Sevi Snape, The Potions Master of Hogwarts

by Antosha



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Sweeney Todd - Sondheim/Wheeler
Genre: Filk, Gen, Post-Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Severus Snape-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-13
Updated: 2020-06-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:33:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24693076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Antosha/pseuds/Antosha
Summary: A filk (song parody) based on the amazing Stephen Sondheim's "The Ballad of Sweeney Todd."
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	The Ballad of Sevi Snape, The Potions Master of Hogwarts

**Author's Note:**

> This is something that I wrote on a whim in late 2004 and posted in a comment to celeria. At the time, relatively few of you would have recognized the musical this was from—Sweeney Todd—and ironically, you still probably don't know the tune, since, though the intro was played constantly, the song was cut from the 2007 film.

**The Ballad of Sevi Snape, aka The Potions Master of Hogwarts**  
 _To be sung to the tune of "The Ballad of Sweeney Todd"_  
  
Attend the tale of Sevi Snape  
His skin was pale, and his mind opaque.  
He taught the children of wizard-kind  
How to brew potions or block others' minds.  
He played a role that few would take,  
Did Sevi Snape,  
The Potions Master of Hogwarts.  
  
He ran his class deep underground.  
For fear and loathing they were renowned.  
And what if students all passed their OWLs?  
He always judged progress by volume of howls,  
Did Sevi,  
Did Sevi Snape,  
The Potions Master of Hogwarts.  
  
Hate those Potter boys, Sevi!  
Mutter something snide!  
Make them pay--they'll rue the day they pricked your pride....  
  
He plays the villain like no one can:  
The lank dark hair and the ashen tan.  
In every book he's a herring red,  
Suspicions against him are best left unsaid  
'Gainst Sevi,  
'Gainst Sevi Snape  
The Potions Master of Hogwarts.  
  
Unmistakable, Sevi was,  
Sharp and bitter and tart, he was.  
Back of his smirk, under his hat,  
Sevi took points at the drop of a bat.  
Sevi muttered, and Sevi brewed,  
Like a cauldron of slugs, he stewed.  
Sevi was swift, Sevi was subtle  
Sevi would blink, and students would scuttle.  
Sevi, Sevi, Sevi, Sevi, Sevi!  
  
Attend the tale of Sevi Snape.  
His teaching style was just short of rape.  
A villain's noose or a hero's crown?  
We won't ever know till the last book goes down  
'Bout Sevi,  
'Bout Sevi Snape  
The Potions Master of Hogwarts.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, we know now! (Sort of...)
> 
> I cringe that I called him "Sevi"—but hey, how the heck else was I supposed to fit that name in???


End file.
